Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales?
Because mothers are priceless.
😄 😄 😄
What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
Juan in a million.
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Can you guess what the left eye said to the right eye?
Between you and I, something smells.
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How many Mcdonald’s workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they can’t climb the ladder.
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May your morning be so bright that you need sunglasses just to pour your cereal.
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My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.
Wait. Never mind. That wasn’t my waiter.
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A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”
The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
😄 😄 😄
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
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Sometimes my girlfriend and I don’t speak the same language...
I say “We have a long distance relationship”.
She says “I have a restraining order”.
😄 😄 😄
You might be a civil engineer if you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they did not get enough sleep.
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You enter the laboratory and see an experiment.
How will you know which class is it?
If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
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Why is ChatGPT always ready for a pop quiz?
Because it’s always in a “state of learning”.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between a bass guitar and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
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I got the book “Internet Forums for Dummies” from a friend.
But I need to take it back, because I already Reddit.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so dumb that you thought a quarterback was a refund.
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April Fools’ Day is a great day to pull pranks.
Except on me, if you’re smart.
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A jobless man applied for the position of Office Boy at a very big company.
The employer interviewed him, then a test “Clean the Floor”.
“You are hired,” the employer said. “Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill out, as well as when you will start.”
The man replied, “I don’t have a computer or an email.”
“I’m sorry,” said the employer, “if you don’t have an email that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”
The man left with no hope. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 USD in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket, bought a 10 kg tomato crate, then sold the tomatoes door to door. In less than two hours, he succeeded and doubled his capital.
He repeated the operation 3 times and returned home with $60 USD. The man realized that he could survive this way, and started to go every day earlier, and returned late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his fleet of delivery vehicles.
Five years later, the man’s company was one of the biggest food retailers. He started to plan his family’s future and decided to have life insurance.
He called an insurance broker and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him for his email.
The man replied, “I don’t have an email.”
The broker replied curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?”
The man paused for a while and replied, “An office boy!”
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What does space smell like?
Uranus!
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How did the cowboy save so much money?
His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an aboriginal rolling down a hill?
Abolanche.
😄 😄 😄
